Contrary to general expectations, she did not miss out her college or was lost in his thoughts; in short, no melodrama. She was practical and strong enough to realize that it has been a one side affair. He never made any commitment, much less, said anything about liking her. It was she who had liked him, for ages. There was no need to blame him. There were moments, of course, when she would feel sad, extremely sad, but she would try to brush them away.
Just so as to avoid meeting him (and reminiscing all the memories), she stopped visiting his college. No more did her car break down. It was again like the time before she had joined her current college, and she was happy (or at least was trying hard at it).
Aditya lost contact with Akira. They had not exchanged phone numbers. She never asked him for his, and how could he have asked for hers? That would have been so inappropriate, he always reasoned. How he felt, he tried to avoid. But still he could not stop himself from missing her.
True, he was not much of a talker, but he was an observer par excellence, especially when it came to her. He noticed those tiny bits of gestures of hers which you only pay attention to when you really love someone. He knew that when he used to teach in class, she never actually listened to what he said for she was too engrossed in her own world, too busy in staring at him. He knew that she would come to the staff room on the pretext of talking to a teacher but her eyes would search for him and stop at him, though he did not show that he knew this. He noticed that she played with her fingers nervously when she would be in the car with him. And he also knew that her car never really broke down, not even once, and all this she did just to be with him.
Yes, he knew all that, because he would see her texting her roommate to take the car to their apartment alone and not wait for her (she had told him she lived with a friend in an apartment). And he enjoyed every bit of it. He loved this. But never expressed his knowledge of this, for the fear that she might get upset and stop taking a lift from him, and he could not stand this. So what that he got only a few moments to spend with her this way? He would not risk them for anything. Anything.
What he loved about her, well, that was difficult to say, for he would then have to think what he did not love about her. She was too beautiful, not just to the eyes but to the heart. She never really cared how she looked. Her hair loosely tied, not attaching importance that what others thought about what she was wearing. He admired the fact that unlike others, she was a natural, not hiding herself beneath those unnecessary layers of artificiality, just for the sake of others. She had a passionate heart, beating for others. And his heart could not but follow her. Oh, the list goes endless.
He came back to his senses, waking up from a reverie named Akira. He realized he can still email her, asking her what has happened. Or better still, visit her in her college. But silly as he was, he brushed away both these ideas, only for propriety’s sake.
…to be continued…
Read Forbidden:Part 5 here
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